He had it coming!
by Murderee
Summary: 5 points if you can guess! Ok, its the Cell block Tango performed by our favourite XME characters! Read & review, for those who don't know already, its a songfic.


'So Just a one shot fic I decided to do, even though I'm in the middle of four stories . . . don't kill me!  
  
Of course, you all know what gave me this idea ^_~  
  
Some stories aren't quite true (e.g. the Pietro and Kitty one) but it had to fit, you know? And some of the pairings are a little . . . strange. *evil grin* lol. Let's pretend Wanda and Jubilee are best friends, and Wanda is going out with Lance! ^_~ And I can't do good accents, so it'll exercise your imagination trying to think of them lol!  
  
By the way, you'll all know me better as Dark Ballerina, and yeah, I've changed my name - again. Ha ha you can't kill me for confusing you coz you already did!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own the Xmen, nor do I own Chicago tear.  
  
He had it coming!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Charge."  
  
"Four."  
  
"Snip."  
  
"Not fair."  
  
"Boarding house."  
  
"Rasputin."  
  
A pair of yellow eyes stands out in the darkened corner of the Institute's dining room. The owner of them steps forward, and speaks.  
  
"And now, our favourite mutant women in their rendition of the 'Cell Block Tango'."  
  
Kurt disappears, and six separate voices ring out of the darkness,  
  
"Charge."  
  
"Four."  
  
"Snip."  
  
"Not fair."  
  
"Boarding house."  
  
"Rasputin."  
  
Then they sang the chorus altogether.  
  
"He had it coming!  
  
He had it coming!  
  
He only had himself to blame!  
  
If you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it,  
  
I betcha you would have done the same!"  
  
"Charge!"  
  
"Four!"  
  
"Snip!"  
  
"Not fair!"  
  
"Boarding house!"  
  
"Rasputin!"  
  
One teenager with auburn hair with white bangs steps forward out of the darkness, dressed in skimpy black clothing covered all in that see-through black stuff. Remy is waiting for her in the spotlight, charging a card in his hand, the other hand on Rogue's shoulder. She starts to tell a story.  
  
"You know how people have these little habits that get you down? Like . . . Remy. Remy liked to flip cards. No, not flip - CHARGE. So I came home this one day and I'm really irritated, and I'm looking for a little bit of sympathy, and there's Remy, standing in my way, smirking at me and flipping a card. No, not flipping. CHARGING! So I said to him, I said,  
  
"You charge that card one more time . . . " "  
  
She sighs dramatically.  
  
"And he did.  
  
So I went up to him and gave him a little kiss . . . of death."  
  
They once again repeat the chorus, as Rogue and Remy dance.  
  
"He had it coming!  
  
He had it coming!  
  
He only had himself to blame!  
  
If you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it,  
  
I betcha you would have done the same!"  
  
Rogue and Remy step back once again, and a tanned teenager with long dark hair and wearing skimpy black clothing without the see-through stuff walks into the spotlight accompanied by John. Amara also starts to tell her story.  
  
"I met St. John Allerdyce of Australia two years ago, and he told me he was single, and we hit it off straight away. So we were a couple, which was great. We'd meet up somewhere, I'd fix him a drink, he'd make dinner-  
  
"And then I found out. Single, he told me. Single my ass! Not only was he seeing someone else - oh no. He had four girlfriends. One of those players, you know? So that night when he came to see me, I fixed him his drink, as usual. You know some guys just can't hold their arsenic!"  
  
Rogue and Remy come back out into the spotlight and the four start to dance in their couples.  
  
"He had it coming!  
  
He had it coming!  
  
He took a flower in it's prime!  
  
And then he used it  
  
And he abused it!  
  
It was a murder, but not a crime!"  
  
Amara, John, Rogue and Remy exit again, while Jean and Scott enter the spotlight, and start circling each other.  
  
"Now I'm standing in the bathroom, trimming my hair, minding my own business, when in storms Scott in a jealous rage." Jean begins.  
  
" "You've been dating Duncan behind my back!" he says. He was crazy, and he kept on screaming, "You've been dating Duncan behind my back!"  
  
"And then he ran into my scissors. He ran into my scissors ten times!"  
  
"If you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it  
  
I betcha you would have done the same!"  
  
Jean and Scott move out of the spotlight. A deep accented voice sounds in the background, arguing with a feminine southern one.  
  
" I can hardly see that this is fair."  
  
" You're the nearest to Hungarian, just do it already!"  
  
"I'm nowhere near closest to Hungarian!"  
  
"Whatever!"  
  
A pair of gloved hands shoves a teenager on stage. He has blue fur and demonic looks, and he's dressed in a black tutu. Poor Kurt sighs, then tells a story in his native language.  
  
"Arm müssen mich, ich dieses singen, obwohl ich ein Junge bin!  
  
Unglücklich!  
  
Seines ist nicht wie irgendjemand gonna dieses sowieso übersetzt!  
  
Deshalb tra la la!  
  
Ich regiere! "  
  
Kurt moves out of the light, to be replaced by Wanda, who steps forward accompanied by Lance and Jubilee (AN Who is now her best friend remember lol).  
  
"My best friend Jubilee and I had this double act, and my boyfriend Lance travelled along with us. Now for the last number in our act, we did these 20 mutant and acrobatic tricks in a row, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, fireworks, hex bolts, a combination, one right after the other." Wanda explains.  
  
"So this one night before the show, we're down at the Boarding house. The three of us, boozing, having a few laughs . . . And we run out of ice, so, I go out to get some.  
  
"I come back, open the door, and there's Jubilee and Lance, doing number 17 - the spread eagle.  
  
"Well, I was in such a state of shock; I completely blacked out, I can't remember a thing. It wasn't until later, when I was washing the blood off my hands I even knew they were dead!"  
  
" They had it coming!" she sings furiously.  
  
" They had it coming!" everyone else echoes.  
  
" They had it coming!"  
  
" They had it coming!"  
  
" They had it coming, all along"  
  
" . . . All along . . . "  
  
"I didn't do it"  
  
" She didn't do it"  
  
" But if I'd done it"  
  
" But if she'd done it"  
  
" How could you tell me that I was wrong?!"  
  
Wanda pushes Lance and Jubilee out of her way, as Rogue, Amara, Jean and Kurt (still in the tutu) enter stage and all start dancing too.  
  
"They had it coming!" Wanda continues.  
  
"They had it coming!" Everyone echoes.  
  
"They had it coming!"  
  
" They had it coming!"  
  
"They had it coming, all along"  
  
" They took a flower in it's prime"  
  
" I didn't do it"  
  
" And they then used it"  
  
"But if I'd done it  
  
How could you tell me that I was wrong?"  
  
Wanda and the others back off stage, as Kitty enters up through the floor, leaning slightly on Piotr, who is standing behind her. She speaks, her voice full of admiration at first.  
  
"I like, loved Piotr Rasputin more than I could like possibly say. He was a real artistic guy - sensitive. A painter.  
  
"But he was like, always trying to find himself. He'd go out like every night looking for himself, and the on the way he met Tabby, Ororo, Taryn, and Mystique."  
  
At this point from backstage, a loud cry sounds, "Euuurrrghhh! Too much info! I'm gonna barf!" from that same feminine, southern voice. Kitty continues with her story.  
  
"I guess you could say we broke up because of like, artistic differences. He saw himself as alive - and I saw him dead!"  
  
Now a screen lifts up from behind them, and standing behind it is about 50 women, including the rest of the Cell Block Tango singers. They all rush forward singing,  
  
"The dirty BoM, BoM, BoM, BoM, BoM  
  
The dirty BoM, BoM, BoM, BoM, BoM!  
  
They had it coming!  
  
They had it coming!  
  
They had it coming, all along  
  
Coz if they used us  
  
And they abused us  
  
How could you tell us that we were wrong?  
  
He had it coming!  
  
He had it coming!  
  
He only had himself to blame!  
  
If you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it,  
  
I betcha you would have done the same!"  
  
The extra women exited, leaving Rogue, Amara, Jean, Kurt, Wanda and Kitty standing in a line of that order. They each spoke, each sentence overlapping the next slightly.  
  
"You charge that card one more time . . . "  
  
"Single my ass!"  
  
"Ten times!"  
  
"blah de blah"  
  
"Number 17 - the spread eagle. "  
  
"Like, artistic differences."  
  
"Charge."  
  
"Four."  
  
"Snip."  
  
"Not fair."  
  
"Boarding house."  
  
"Rasputin."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Review if you liked! Review if you didn't!  
  
xxx 


End file.
